First day of school...first day of the finals!

Its 8.15 am already at the office heh. So far so good :)

Thank you!

He did it again! But Im just going to take a deep long breathe n move on. A coward is what you are. You are truly a reminder to myself of the type of person I do not want my son to be! Be a man for god sake will you!

New Post new RESPONSIBILITY.

So far, it has been 2 months, ..sigh.., if only I can come up with a valid reason to quit, I'll definitely QUIT today! But then again, since when I am a quitter?? Erghh..

Happy Birthday to me!

Yup. Im the last day of the year baby..therefore, I Finally turned 38 yesterday (31st Dec) . Nothing much happened...Hubby was the first to wish me, followed by his aunties ( they came n spent a nite at my place)...and the rest of the day was as ordinary as it can be.

Had lunch with my usual buddies at work, shah n shikin. Came back early from work, spent it watching korean drama with Ain till 5.30. Picked up Syamil. Maghrib.

Hubby brought a cake home. A tiramisu. Hmmmm the thots that count right? :)

Cooked dinner. Just a simple kuey tiaw goreng... And half an hour after dinner, i fell asleep in front of the TV. ..then was awaken by my youngest asking me to go upstair with him.

3am, performed my Isyak. Went back to sleep .., woke up at 6.20 by my husband shrieking voice 'arrrgghhh it 6.20!!!'

So in conclusion, I only want to say alhamdullilah. The day may not be or was not made special for me, but I am still ever so grateful to Allah for still giving me the opportunity to still perform my shallat n ibadah towards him.

...

Sedih

Woke up late this morning at 6.20am! Not a very good beginning, when ur first Subuh of the new year is late eh. Astagfirrullah, may Allah forgive me :(

Anyways, am now at my kids sek agama, to pay their school fees etc and also to pick up their report cards. .. My son didn't do so well... and I am so sadden by this. .. And I am so engulfed with guilt right now. May be all this while, I was too engrossed with my own studies, that I had failed or hd ignored / neglected his pleas for help.

....How should I deliver him the news...

Jealousy...

ish..lama nya tak menulis...lots of things had happened in the past few weeks. and its have been both mentally and physically tiring.

From the outside, I imagine people to think I have this perfect life...well that is partly true actually. I have a big house, a nice car, good job...and Alhamdullilah my marriage and my small family...well..we are indeed feel very blessed. Nevertheless, I can't help from feeling jealous looking at others' family....other families are huge!...they often have their yearly gatherings...make holiday plans together...seronok tgk dorang...bila raya...mereka balik kampung berduyun2......dorang masak ramai2, sembahyang sama sampai penuh ruang tamu tu.....anak2 seronok main pasir sama2 (almaklum le pasir bandar byk bakteria, pasir kg tak de..hehe ye ke?) dan paling jealous .....hmm tak pe le.....Allah itu Maha Agung dan Maha mengetahui kan....

Man jadda wajjada.

Its a major correction Dr....and I said "what?!!"

I have never really be  a very defensive person, but when it comes to dealing with this particular individual, my 'armour' is all set and ready, somehow? This is really bad. I really don't want living my life thinking that he is always out to get me. That he is an opportunist, that the very moment I let my guard down, he will be right there and then, ever ready to take me down., So, NO. I want to always to think the very best of others, this is who I am. This is how I define myself. Therefore, I pray, if he is doing this out of malice, then let Allah punish him, and if it sincerely because of his kind heart/self,  then may Allah reward him.

But I am only human.

So I tell myself,

"lahaulawala kuwatailla billa ali ilazim" , "man jadda wajjada" ...

 Usaha, doa, dan bertawakallah...

Ya Allah, tenangkan lah hati ini, sesungguhku aku redha bahawa setiap yang berlaku ada hikmahnya. Ameen.